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[Sound of crickets. Guy walks across grass]

[Joe:] "Hey pal! How ya doin?"

[M2:] "I`m so wasted, man."

[Joe:] "Yeah, you are, oh ho ho!"

[M2:] "Thanks man."

[Joe:] "It`s good party, huh?"

[M2:] "Oh, it`s great man."

[Joe:] "Hey that`s some good acid, huh?"

[M2:] "Oh, killer man."

[Joe:] "Hey, my pleasure."

[M2:] "I`ve never been higher."

[Joe:] "Oh ho, you must be freaking out."

[M2:] "Acid`s great man."

[Joe:] "It`s the best."

[M2:] "Everytime I do acid man, I`m so high."

[Joe:] "Yeah, oh, you must be flipping out right now."

[M2:] "This is the best acid, man."

[Joe:] "What are you seein, man?"

[M2:] "Oh, I, that cloud up there, man."

[Joe:] "Whoa"

[M2:] "It`s got a vein in it."

[Joe:] "Oh-Holy Cow! Really!?"

[M2:] "And it`s bleeding on me, man."

[Joe:] "It`s bleeding on ya? Well watch out!"

[M2:] "Look at my hand, man."

[Joe:] "Yeah?"

[M2:] "It-It`s moving, but it`s not moving."

[Joe:] "It`s not?"

[M2:] "It`s still there, but it looks like it`s moving."

[Joe:] "Hey, yeah to you it is."

[M2:] "I`m so high."

[Joe:] "Yeah, you must be flipping out."

[M2:] "I`m flipping out off it."

[Joe:] "Hallucinations, man."

[M2:] "Acid..right."

[Joe:] "Hey, I got some news fer ya."

[M2:] "I`m seeing stuff, man."

[Joe:] "Yeah, yer seeing stuff."

[M2:] "RIght."

[Joe:] "Well, that`s what happens when you take acid, but

you know what?"

[M2:] "What man?"

[Joe:] "Uhhh, that really wasn`t acid.

That was just a little piece of paper I ripped off of my notebook."

[Silence]



[M2:] "Wha? It`s probly this weed I`m smokin`, man."

[Joe:] "Oh, that weed."

[M2:] "That Thai bud, man."

[Joe:] "Whoa."

[M2: Laughing] "Everything`s hilarious."

[Joe: Laughing] "That`s funny man. Look at that guy."

[M2: Laughing] "That`s funny man."

[Joe: Laughing] "Look at that guy`s hat man."

[M2: Laughing] "Everything`s funny to me, man."

[Joe:] "Right. Hey, how man bones didya smoke? A few joints,

man?"

[M2:] "I had about four."

[Joe:] "Whoa, that`s a lot of bones to be smokin`, man."

[M2:] "The whole thing`s man."

[Joe:] "Yeah, you sucked `em down yerself."

[M2:] "Ain`t that hilarious!?"

[Joe:] "You didn`t wanna share, didja?"

[M2:] "It was great stuff, man."

[Joe:] "Aww, yeah, hey I got some news on that stuff too."

[M2:] "Hey what man?"

[Joe:] "That`s the stuff I sold you, right?

[M2:] "Yeah, right."

[Joe:] "Yeah"

[M2:] "It`s funny, man."

[Joe:] "Well, well, uh.."

[M2:] "I`m wasted off it, man."

[Joe:] "Yeah, well that`s good. You smoked it, right?"

[M2:] "Right."

[Joe:] "Well that really wans`t weed."

[Pause]

[Joe:] "No it wasn`t, it was pencil shavings in a bag."

[Silence]



[Joe:] "Yeah."

[M2:] "Well, it`s probably this beer.

This beer I`m drinking, man. I must be drunk off it or something.

Ya know, I had about eighteen of them, man."

[Joe:] "Whoa, oh really!?"

[M2:] "I`m just..wasted off `em."

[Joe:] "That`s a lot of beer for a man to drink."

[M2:] "Man, I gotta pea pretty soon, man."

[Joe:] "You didn`t dump `em out in the woods, didja?"

[M2:] "No..no..no.. I drank all of them."

[Joe:] "Right, yeah. I saw you..that`s good. Hey didja eat

today?"

[M2:]"No, I`m on an empty stomach."

[Joe:] "Whoa, you must be ..yea.. extra buzz for you."

[M2:] "..And that`s why I`m so wasted off it man, it`s like

I`m seeing things, man."

[Joe:] "Yeah, you can hardly stand, man."

[M2:] "You should take my car keys, cuz I can`t drive, man."

[Joe:] "Right, right."

[M2:] "I can barely walk."

[Joe:] "Hey man, you better open those eyes up, they`re

half shut."

[M2:] "There`s two of you, man. I can`t see anymore, man,

I`m blind!"

[Joe:] "Right.. I got the beers, huh? I`m the man, right?"

[M2:] "Yeah, you are the man."

[Joe:] "Say it. Say I`m the man."

[M2:] "Yer da man!!"

[Joe:] "Okay, well that beer.."

[M2:] "Yeah?"

[Joe:] "There was no alcohol in that beer."

[Pause]

[Joe:] "That was non-alcoholic.

So..uhh..again, I`m gonna have to bust you on this one.

You`re lying."

[Silence]



[M2: Mumbling] "I`ll be right back."

[Joe:] "Ok, buddy, you go sober up."

[Walking different directions, gun goes off]

[Joe:] "Oh my God! He killed himself! He killed himself!"

[Runs over]

[Joe:] "Oh my God! You killed yerself, buddy."

[M2:] "Yeah, I`m dead, man."

[Joe:] "Oh my, oh yer dead."

[M2:] "Yeah, I`m dead, man."

[Joe:] "That is awefull."

[M2:] "There`s a big white light and everything, man."

[Joe:] "Yeah! Well you showed us all, man."

[M2:] "Oh man, I`m so peaceful here man."

[Joe:] "Yeah, you see anything weird, or.."

[M2:] "My relatives, man, a big white light, and my grandfather`s

there and.."

[Joe:] "Ooooh, I remember him, he`s a good guy."

[M2:] "He`s still wearing the same clothes, and.."

[Joe:] "Hey, say hello fer me, huh?"

[M2:] "Hey man, Joe says hi, man."

[Joe: Chuckling] "Right."

[M2:] "It`s yeah..My uncle`s here and..."

[Joe:] "Right..right.. Hey I got some news for ya. This

is so funny."

[M2:] "Yeah? What, man?"

[Joe:] "Yeah, yeah, before you go, up to heaven.

The gun, you killed yerself with, that`s the one I sold you, right?"

[M2:] "Yeah."

[Joe:] "Yeah, well that was a cap gun.

So, there`s no way you could have killed yourself."

[Pause]

[Joe:] "Yeah, that`s right, ok.. I`m going back to the party.

Ok, take care."

[Walks back]



[M2: Whimpering and crying] "I`m moving to a different town man."



[Four weeks later]



[Pouring drink]

[M2:] "Oh this beer is great, man.

This tequila is really strong, man.

It`s got a worm, and everything in it, man."

[Buffoon:] "Fuckin` shit!"

[M2:] "All being in the sun, you`re even more wasted.

Fuckin` shit is right, man!

I am totally wasted now, man.

I should maybe get an umbrella or something and go in the shade."

[Buffoon:] "I know a guy who can suck his own dick."

[M2:] "Yeah, I know a guy who can do that too.

He`s the drummer from Molly Hatchet and one night we had two

cases of Southern Comfort, man.

We were so wasted off it.

I`m serious man."

[Sound of crickets. Guy walks across grass]

[Joe:] "Hey pal! How ya doin?"

[M2:] "I`m so wasted, man."

[Joe:] "Yeah, you are, oh ho ho!"

[M2:] "Thanks man."

[Joe:] "It`s good party, huh?"

[M2:] "Oh, it`s great man."

[Joe:] "Hey that`s some good acid, huh?"

[M2:] "Oh, killer man."

[Joe:] "Hey, my pleasure."

[M2:] "I`ve never been higher."

[Joe:] "Oh ho, you must be freaking out."

[M2:] "Acid`s great man."

[Joe:] "It`s the best."

[M2:] "Everytime I do acid man, I`m so high."

[Joe:] "Yeah, oh, you must be flipping out right now."

[M2:] "This is the best acid, man."

[Joe:] "What are you seein, man?"

[M2:] "Oh, I, that cloud up there, man."

[Joe:] "Whoa"

[M2:] "It`s got a vein in it."

[Joe:] "Oh-Holy Cow! Really!?"

[M2:] "And it`s bleeding on me, man."

[Joe:] "It`s bleeding on ya? Well watch out!"

[M2:] "Look at my hand, man."

[Joe:] "Yeah?"

[M2:] "It-It`s moving, but it`s not moving."

[Joe:] "It`s not?"

[M2:] "It`s still there, but it looks like it`s moving."

[Joe:] "Hey, yeah to you it is."

[M2:] "I`m so high."

[Joe:] "Yeah, you must be flipping out."

[M2:] "I`m flipping out off it."

[Joe:] "Hallucinations, man."

[M2:] "Acid..right."

[Joe:] "Hey, I got some news fer ya."

[M2:] "I`m seeing stuff, man."

[Joe:] "Yeah, yer seeing stuff."

[M2:] "RIght."

[Joe:] "Well, that`s what happens when you take acid, but

you know what?"

[M2:] "What man?"

[Joe:] "Uhhh, that really wasn`t acid.

That was just a little piece of paper I ripped off of my notebook."

[Silence]



[M2:] "Wha? It`s probly this weed I`m smokin`, man."

[Joe:] "Oh, that weed."

[M2:] "That Thai bud, man."

[Joe:] "Whoa."

[M2: Laughing] "Everything`s hilarious."

[Joe: Laughing] "That`s funny man. Look at that guy."

[M2: Laughing] "That`s funny man."

[Joe: Laughing] "Look at that guy`s hat man."

[M2: Laughing] "Everything`s funny to me, man."

[Joe:] "Right. Hey, how man bones didya smoke? A few joints,

man?"

[M2:] "I had about four."

[Joe:] "Whoa, that`s a lot of bones to be smokin`, man."

[M2:] "The whole thing`s man."

[Joe:] "Yeah, you sucked `em down yerself."

[M2:] "Ain`t that hilarious!?"

[Joe:] "You didn`t wanna share, didja?"

[M2:] "It was great stuff, man."

[Joe:] "Aww, yeah, hey I got some news on that stuff too."

[M2:] "Hey what man?"

[Joe:] "That`s the stuff I sold you, right?

[M2:] "Yeah, right."

[Joe:] "Yeah"

[M2:] "It`s funny, man."

[Joe:] "Well, well, uh.."

[M2:] "I`m wasted off it, man."

[Joe:] "Yeah, well that`s good. You smoked it, right?"

[M2:] "Right."

[Joe:] "Well that really wans`t weed."

[Pause]

[Joe:] "No it wasn`t, it was pencil shavings in a bag."

[Silence]



[Joe:] "Yeah."

[M2:] "Well, it`s probably this beer.

This beer I`m drinking, man. I must be drunk off it or something.

Ya know, I had about eighteen of them, man."

[Joe:] "Whoa, oh really!?"

[M2:] "I`m just..wasted off `em."

[Joe:] "That`s a lot of beer for a man to drink."

[M2:] "Man, I gotta pea pretty soon, man."

[Joe:] "You didn`t dump `em out in the woods, didja?"

[M2:] "No..no..no.. I drank all of them."

[Joe:] "Right, yeah. I saw you..that`s good. Hey didja eat

today?"

[M2:]"No, I`m on an empty stomach."

[Joe:] "Whoa, you must be ..yea.. extra buzz for you."

[M2:] "..And that`s why I`m so wasted off it man, it`s like

I`m seeing things, man."

[Joe:] "Yeah, you can hardly stand, man."

[M2:] "You should take my car keys, cuz I can`t drive, man."

[Joe:] "Right, right."

[M2:] "I can barely walk."

[Joe:] "Hey man, you better open those eyes up, they`re

half shut."

[M2:] "There`s two of you, man. I can`t see anymore, man,

I`m blind!"

[Joe:] "Right.. I got the beers, huh? I`m the man, right?"

[M2:] "Yeah, you are the man."

[Joe:] "Say it. Say I`m the man."

[M2:] "Yer da man!!"

[Joe:] "Okay, well that beer.."

[M2:] "Yeah?"

[Joe:] "There was no alcohol in that beer."

[Pause]

[Joe:] "That was non-alcoholic.

So..uhh..again, I`m gonna have to bust you on this one.

You`re lying."

[Silence]



[M2: Mumbling] "I`ll be right back."

[Joe:] "Ok, buddy, you go sober up."

[Walking different directions, gun goes off]

[Joe:] "Oh my God! He killed himself! He killed himself!"

[Runs over]

[Joe:] "Oh my God! You killed yerself, buddy."

[M2:] "Yeah, I`m dead, man."

[Joe:] "Oh my, oh yer dead."

[M2:] "Yeah, I`m dead, man."

[Joe:] "That is awefull."

[M2:] "There`s a big white light and everything, man."

[Joe:] "Yeah! Well you showed us all, man."

[M2:] "Oh man, I`m so peaceful here man."

[Joe:] "Yeah, you see anything weird, or.."

[M2:] "My relatives, man, a big white light, and my grandfather`s

there and.."

[Joe:] "Ooooh, I remember him, he`s a good guy."

[M2:] "He`s still wearing the same clothes, and.."

[Joe:] "Hey, say hello fer me, huh?"

[M2:] "Hey man, Joe says hi, man."

[Joe: Chuckling] "Right."

[M2:] "It`s yeah..My uncle`s here and..."

[Joe:] "Right..right.. Hey I got some news for ya. This

is so funny."

[M2:] "Yeah? What, man?"

[Joe:] "Yeah, yeah, before you go, up to heaven.

The gun, you killed yerself with, that`s the one I sold you, right?"

[M2:] "Yeah."

[Joe:] "Yeah, well that was a cap gun.

So, there`s no way you could have killed yourself."

[Pause]

[Joe:] "Yeah, that`s right, ok.. I`m going back to the party.

Ok, take care."

[Walks back]



[M2: Whimpering and crying] "I`m moving to a different town man."



[Four weeks later]



[Pouring drink]

[M2:] "Oh this beer is great, man.

This tequila is really strong, man.

It`s got a worm, and everything in it, man."

[Buffoon:] "Fuckin` shit!"

[M2:] "All being in the sun, you`re even more wasted.

Fuckin` shit is right, man!

I am totally wasted now, man.

I should maybe get an umbrella or something and go in the shade."

[Buffoon:] "I know a guy who can suck his own dick."

[M2:] "Yeah, I know a guy who can do that too.

He`s the drummer from Molly Hatchet and one night we had two

cases of Southern Comfort, man.

We were so wasted off it.

I`m serious man."

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